I'm a writer and therefore, the itch to write is persistent. My fingers long to dance over the keyboard and form words that create meaningful sentences. My mind is frustrated when I have a story to write but my body aches from fatigue.
So what should I have done in the past few months?
Sometimes, it feels just fine to sit and do nothing but observe the world around. Watching people go about their daily lives, seeing how troubled they are, what joy they procure from the simplest things- all these are just fodder for the imagination so that it can run and create.
Then there are times, when it isn't the body that aches, but the mind that tires. There is so much going on, so many problems to deal with. There is that consuming anguish that overwhelms and defeats. Those times, giving up on your dreams is not even a question. It is something that though supports and nurtures the mind, can easily be given away.
It is those trying times when a choice is to be made and the answer is always obvious. Love and loyalty above everything else- even myself.
I'll admit, it has been a tough time. One that feels scary, heartless and permanent.
Nothing is permanent, of course. Like changing seasons, everything modifies and everything simplifies or complicates. It is a time when confusion seems larger than solution. This is also when life's most difficult lessons are learned.
This is definitely not the easiest time to go through, but it has to be done. The hurdles must be crossed. The obstacles must be overcome. There must be victory at the end of the ordeal. Even if it is small, even if it takes a long time, some sort of triumph is imminent.
In the meantime, time passes, my fingers ache to touch the keyboard once again and write a brand new story. A tale so fantastic that I wouldn't mind getting lost in it and live with characters that I pull the strings of. It will be a world I control, one where things are not hurtful nor filled with sorrow.
That will be soon.